


Of All the Gin Joints in All the Universe

by mogwai_do



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Humor, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 08:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mogwai_do/pseuds/mogwai_do
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two 21st Century Earth Humans walk into a bar... and meet a 51st Century guy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of All the Gin Joints in All the Universe

It had been Rory’s idea to start with, so really he only had himself to blame. Then again, it was possibly the best thing Amy had seen in years.

After the holiday that wasn’t in Venice, Rory had asked for a nice, normal date, like an evening at a pub. Of course, being the Doctor the pub had turned out to be on another planet, some time in the 37th century, because apparently the music was better. It was a human colony with a stable government and a fairly relaxed approach to just about everything. It was also a central transport hub with more than enough humans and aliens passing through to make a couple of anachronisms entirely inconspicuous, but to Amy it looked like the most enormous amusement park she’d ever seen. The Doctor had given them money and the psychic paper, just in case, and having assured them that the whole city was perfectly safe, despite his track record, he had waved them a farewell, claiming important TARDIS repairs to give them the time alone. 

Amy and Rory had explored the city for hours, looking at the other people as much as the city itself. Eventually though they had tired and found themselves a bar, not too quiet, not too loud, and largely human in its occupants. There were couples and groups, people dancing or drinking or talking. It could have been a bar anywhere on Earth, apart from the group of Very Pink aliens by the pool table.

There had been dancing, because the Doctor was right and the music was better, and Amy had liked the happy, relaxed atmosphere of the place. So when a guy joined them on the dance floor, she hadn’t really minded: it wasn’t like he was hard on the eyes and when he flirted with her it was kind of fun. It was even better when he flirted with Rory, if only because having bristled initially when the guy had flirted with Amy, Rory didn’t seem to know where to put himself when he was the object of those attentions. A few more drinks and the sure and certain knowledge that anyone who might ever see him was actually long since dead and Rory had unwound enough to keep on dancing even after Amy had excused herself for a breather. So now Amy was watching her fiancé get it on on the dance floor with a rather good looking bloke and quite frankly, with all of space and time to choose from, this was by far the best thing she’d seen so far.

When the music shifted to something slow, Rory excused himself and returned to their table, but he didn’t object when the guy came back with him. Away from the noise of the dance floor the guy introduced himself with a smile as Jack, before ordering a round of drinks for them all and a selection of tapas that included a dish of something that looked very like blue cockroaches.

Amy looked at the cockroaches and then up at Rory; he had the same slightly horrified expression she thought she was wearing. Jack wore a look of amusement, but it was hard to take offense at the man and his attempt to tease the tourists. He was in for a disappointment though, because if Amy had learned anything in her short time with the Doctor, it was that you had to try new things. Besides, when she’d looked at the menu earlier, she’d noted that it had helpfully marked things like spicy, vegetarian and unsuitable for human consumption, so she wasn’t really worried. Much.

She met Jack’s eyes and reached out and picked up a cockroach; she half expected it to move, but it didn’t, it felt slightly squishy too and when she sniffed it didn’t smell of anything. She wrapped her free hand around her glass of reassuringly recognisable alcohol in case she needed it in a hurry then she quickly popped the cockroach in her mouth. She froze for just a moment in sudden doubt then she bit down. Rory was watching her with the widest eyes she’d ever seen; he looked about 12 years old.

She chewed thoughtfully then swallowed, “Aniseed,” she declared firmly then looked thoughtful, “With maybe a hint of fish.”

Jack laughed out loud and gave her a quick, seated bow of respect. Rory tried one himself then, and to everyone’s surprise, several more after that and just like that the ice was well and truly broken.

Jack was a charmer for sure and he seemed happy enough to talk about himself, the city, his extensive travels. Light subjects all and if Jack seemed to sometimes skate over some areas, Amy could hardly complain since she and Rory were doing some fairly hefty editing themselves. Given the city was such a melting pot, Amy didn’t feel too odd asking otherwise stupid questions about it. They were hardly the most unusually dressed humans there, not that anyone would be likely to recognise their clothes as 21st century Earth, and it was easy enough simply to say that they weren’t locals.

Jack offered his services as a tour guide in the morning if they wanted and Amy was fairly sure there was another offer in there too, if she was understanding the way Jack glanced at Rory and the not-so-casual touches he gave them both as they snacked.

She had to admit she was kind of intrigued and more than a little tempted, but Rory was still floundering a bit even though Jack had tempered his flirting to a gentler variety for her fiancé. It wasn’t as if Rory had even got as far ahead as wondering what might happen in bed with his fiancée and another man; it was simply that as far as Amy knew, and she’d known him pretty much all their lives, Rory had never been the one pursued. It was kind of sweet to see the way Rory blushed shyly when Jack showed him how to peel open a peculiarly complicated-looking fruit.

More drinks and more snacks and more conversation later and it became clear that Jack was so open-minded there should have been a draught and his stories were both amusing and invariably just a little blue. Eventually though it was their turn and it was easy enough to gloss over how exactly they travelled and with whom because she’d quickly learned that the Doctor was kind of notorious in some places. Jack turned out to be a surprisingly good listener and it seemed obvious to ask him where they should visit next and what he recommended, and if Jack looked a little thoughtful when Rory asked where he would most like to go if he could go anywhere and anywhen, it quickly faded, replaced with a glib answer about truly ancient Greece to see if all the rumours were true.

Amy only noticed the time when the bar finally started to get quieter; she glanced around and wondered what the Doctor would do if they didn’t return that night - probably something dramatic. She was pleasantly buzzed with alcohol and good company and it made it hard to think of how to lose Jack before they returned to the TARDIS, or if she even actually wanted to. The Doctor hadn’t really set any rules for this kind of thing. She liked Jack, but even with Rory’s slightly dubious consent, she couldn’t really see them taking Jack back to the TARDIS, hoping he wouldn’t notice the bigger-on-the-inside thing, and having a threesome in her bedroom. It was the Doctor’s ship after all; it seemed a bit rude to do it without even asking him… or inviting him.

Amy shook her head to clear the oddly appealing idea; that was clearly the sign she’d had enough to drink now. Jack paused in his latest tale, obviously attempting to read her absent gesture, and whatever he saw on her face must have told him something because he settled back in his seat, just a little mournfully. “It’s getting late?” he asked, clearly pre-empting the brush off he expected.

Amy pouted and reached over the table to grab Rory’s hand. “Yeah,” she admitted, “But it’s not that I don’t want to.” She felt Rory start and squeezed his hand, the alarmed look didn’t quite fade, but he looked more resigned than panicked and that was good enough for her.

“Then?” Jack prompted.

Amy shrugged, “It’s just, we’re passing through, you know. Only here for the evening.”

Jack tilted his head, “And?”

Amy shrugged again and glanced across at Rory, “Well, we’re travelling with someone else and it’s his ship, you know. I’m not sure he’d be too keen on, well,” she gestured vaguely at all three of them, “this. He can be a bit… funny sometimes,” she finished lamely.

Jack grinned, “Is that all?” He reached out and took each of their free hands in his and raised them to his lips, Rory first then Amy, dropping a gentle kiss on their knuckles. Amy wanted to laugh at Rory’s startled, slightly turned on expression, but she couldn’t really, it wouldn’t be kind. Jack met her eyes, “Maybe I can smooth things over?” he offered.

Amy flashed again on the idea of the Doctor joining them and really she was going to have to not drink this much if it took her there because, well, three was something she could imagine, four with one being the Doctor – never happen. She smiled, “You know, I was just beginning to think that anything’s possible, but perhaps not quite everything.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “I could still try? If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, no harm no foul.”

Amy sighed; she wanted to say yes, she really did, and if she was reading Rory right, he was at least thinking about it. She looked around the bar, looking for inspiration or an excuse not to hurt Jack, instead she saw a very familiar figure duck inside as the Very Pink aliens left. Well, it looked like Jack would get his chance after all and the Doctor wasn’t really the type to take offense, though she might have to warn Jack about being too subtle in his approach.

“Amy! Rory!” the Doctor called and made his way through the crowd to them, weaving around servers and dancers with that odd, gangly grace of his.

Amy waved a greeting and watched Jack turn to see their companion, charming smile already in place, but to her surprise it faded and Jack frowned, which didn’t look at all right on his face. He looked like he was thinking hard as he watched the Doctor approach, or perhaps trying to remember something. Then Jack turned his back on the dance floor and looked between her and Rory, surprisingly sharp eyes seeing them in an entirely new way, and apparently reaching an altogether different conclusion.

Jack stood up and turned just as the Doctor finally cleared the crowd and looked up at them. Amy had never seen that expression on the Doctor’s face before: shock and happiness and wariness all rolled into one as he stopped in his tracks.

Jack stepped back and offered his chair with the most charming, suggestive smile Amy had yet seen on him, which was saying something.

“Doctor,” he greeted and there was a wealth of innuendo in just that one word that even Jack could never have achieved on meeting someone for the first time. His eyes raked up and down the Doctor’s body rather more blatantly than he’d done with Rory or even with her, “Looking good.”

The Doctor looked from Jack to Amy to Rory and back to Jack, “Oh dear,” he sighed resignedly, but Amy thought he didn’t sound entirely displeased. Amy picked up her empty glass and looked into it, wondering if she should order another round because clearly if she was drunk enough to be imagining this then another wouldn’t make a difference now, besides Rory looked like he might be needing it shortly. She looked up at the Doctor as he finally took those last steps to them and she saw a familiar hint of a smile playing on his lips. Amy sat back, not taking her eyes from the scene unfolding before her and raised her glass absently to wave a server over. At least, she reflected, with the TARDIS they didn’t have to worry about having a bed big enough.

FIN


End file.
